We all have limiting beliefs. Most likely they formed back in early childhood to keep you safe, or maybe they sprouted out of something someone told you about yourself which turned out to be wrong. How many times have you not done something because you thought you couldn’t? Didn’t explore a new life path because it seemed like it was ok for others but not for you? Or told yourself a lie that kept you in the same place, repeating the same pattern over and over? There’s no judgment here- we’ve all grappled with this or worse: simply gave in to a limiting belief without even knowing it.
The thing about limiting beliefs is that they are not real. They are perceived as real, and often cause damage, hurt, and a ho-hum life, but they are not real. They are powerful, though. As our friend Crystal at Realize Life says, “Our beliefs about ourselves, whether we are aware of them or not, are what holds us back or drives us forward.” Truer words were never blogged.
Like all things, there is a pattern to your particular limiting beliefs and it has to do with your nature, your hard-wiring. Know your nature, and you’ll know how limiting beliefs show up in your life. Do any of these sound familiar?
- I don’t ever have enough money, time, energy, or right relationship to live the life I want or deserve.
- Other people have what I need, but I don’t.
- This relationship, (or job, financial situation, environment, activity), doesn’t make me feel good, so I’m done.
- This person/job/financial situation/life option won’t make me feel great, so I’m not going to try.
- I will always work myself to the bone and have not much to show for it. (Work-wise, relationship-wise, fitness-wise, financially.)
- I’m buried under my responsibilities, and I am stuck living a life that’s ridiculously hard.
- I need to save these people. (Often at the expense of myself, in retrospect.)
- I’m just fine by myself.
- If it doesn’t pay off big, it’s not worth my time.
- This job/relationship/activity/thing isn’t giving me as much back as I want, (or I won’t get much out of it), so I’ll opt out.
- This is too hard- I’m not doing this.
- Everyone else is slacking off, not bringing their A-game.
- Nobody wants what I am putting out there.
- Everybody wants what I am putting out there, so I need to keep giving. (Even if I end up with nothing for myself.)
Of course there are variations of these, but because of your wiring, you’ll likely end up with the SAME limiting beliefs at various times and in various situations throughout your life. What’s that saying? Same something, different day? What does your hard-wiring cause you to believe?
I’m and Earner. To me money is earned through great effort then promptly paid out in bills until there is nothing left. I felt overwhelmed with my financial obligations and I believed that I would always be living at the financial limit, never having the means to buy a house- until a friend, a mortgage broker pointed out that I could. With help and guidance, I did. There’s one limiting belief out the window!
What can you do?
- Honestly, the easiest, clearest way to identify your limiting beliefs is to look at the story you tell yourself about money. Money is tangible, black-and-white, mathematics. (Therefore everything we teach, explore, learn, apply is illustrated using money.) Find your financial nature and get a concrete, black-and-white framework for how you do life- as well how you experience your limiting beliefs.
- Once you know your nature and the cause of your particular experience with self-limitation, you can begin to intentionally, consciously untangle those knots. The story you tell yourself is just a story, and you can tell yourself a new story right now. Crystal says, “If you find yourself holding yourself back, try to challenge that voice.”
- Engage with others with open minds and hearts, who inspire you to keep reaching beyond what you know and what you think you know. It’s way easier to evolve when keeping company with those doing the same.
- Contact us to keep the conversation going! Connect with us on facebook and subscribe to our blog. Maybe take one of our classes!
Here’s to a new year without tangles!